Generally speaking, we all set out each morning to have a good day. We want to be happy, we want those around us to be happy. And when it comes to our work – we aim to work hard, do our best and provide people with an exceptional service and/or product.
However, despite our best efforts, problems will sometimes arise and we may find ourselves facing a difficult situation. Frustration, upset and anger can be confronting and intimidating. So here’s a little help – 5 tips to help increase the chance a positive outcome.
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Don’t take it personally
It can be very difficult to feel and believe but the truth is – 99% of the time, it’s not about you. There are a million reasons why this customer may be feeling upset right now – perhaps they slept in and are stressed about running late, maybe they just received some bad news, they could be feeling anxious or sad or depressed. So many reasons.
Even if their anger is directly related to this specific interaction, they are likely more angry at the situation and less angry at your directly, as an individual.
Personalising the negative emotions will not help you effectively manage the situation, instead it will either paralyse you into inaction or trigger your own anger. Trust me, two people yelling is not going to help anyone.
So, when faced with an angry or frustrated customer, take a deep breath, whisper to yourself “this is not about me” and….
2. Listen & empathise
Angry people often need to vent before they can move past their negative feelings and begin to focus on a solution. Everybody wants to be heard and letting your customer have their say (within reason) is an important part of providing good service.
Actively listen to the person in front of you – be attentive both to their words and to their body language. Try to avoid cutting them off abruptly as this could be seen as disrespectful and make the situation worse. Instead, listen and empathise – can you relate to how they are feeling? Have you ever been in a similar situation that can help you to understand their viewpoint now?
3. Maintain a calm demeanour
Customers who are angry, frustrated and being difficult may often become agitated. It is important for you to do the exact opposite. Stay calm, reasonable and respectful. An old proverb says “a mild answer turns away rage.”
Keep your speech steady, use a mild tone and keep your body language open. Remember that difficult customers may try to bait you into inappropriate and unprofessional behaviour. There is often a belief that if they can get you to do or say something compromising that will have leverage to get their way. Don’t give them the opportunity.
4. Set boundaries
You may be reading this and finding yourself recoiling – are you meant to be a pushover and just take bad behaviour or abuse? Absolutely not! Saying that you should let customers vent does not mean that you can’t set limits or boundaries. You can maintain a respectful and calm demeanour whilst still communicating that inappropriate behaviour cannot continue.
Directly address the person by name and calmly but firmly, state something along the lines of “Mr/Mrs X, I really want to help you, but it is difficult for me to do so when you are speaking to me like this. Will you let me help you?” Chances are, Mr/Mrs X will not respond that they do not want help.
It is also important to remember that you do not have to deal with this situation entirely alone. You likely have a team around you and a manager. These situations are one of the reasons manager exist. There have been many times when I, as the manager, have stepped in to assist one of my team in a difficult situation. Asking for another staff member or a manager to join to in resolving this situation does not mean you are weak or bad at your job. In fact, it means you are doing everything you can to assist your customer.
5. Clarify, then act
In order to resolve the situation, you must first understand it. Your customer is likely telling you a lot of information – the specific product or service issue along with all their emotions. If you are listening carefully, you will be able to separate out the problem from the emotion. Hone in on the problem – this is the part where you can assist.
Ask for clarification and steer the conversation towards relevant details. You can use phrases and questions such as, “Can you tell me exactly what happened?”, “Let me be sure I am clear on your issue/request (then paraphrase back to them)”, and “Is this correct?”
It is also good to ask the customer what they want to happen. They may have a solution in mind – perhaps they want a refund, a replacement item, maybe they just want an acknowledgement of the situation. When I worked packing and sending online orders for a retail business, we often had customers contact us upset about their parcel not arriving. This was not a situation we could do much about as we did not have control over the postal system. However, letting the customer vent and expressing sympathy for their frustration went a long way to calming the tension and reaching a resolution.
Once you have a clear idea of their issue and a plan of action, implement it immediately, in front of the customer if possible. Let them know what you are doing and the next steps you will take. Make a note of the customer’s details and try following up with them a few days later. You could call or email something like “Hi X, I just wanted to get in touch regarding (brief description of the situation). Thank-you for drawing this issue to our attention, we appreciate your feedback.” If a resolution has already been reached, you could ask if there is anything further you can do to assist them. If a resolution is in progress, provide an update on how the situation is progressing.
No one likes to be faced with an angry customer but spending a few moments to think about how to handle a difficult interaction can be invaluable in building the confidence needed to face any and all interactions with a calm mind and rational thought. Doing so with greatly increase your chances of reaching a positive solution and salvaging the customer relationship.
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