Meet in the middle
Compromise is a familiar approach to conflict – ‘I give a little, you give a little, and we’ll meet somewhere in the middle.’ As a strategy, compromise combines elements of several other approaches to try and find a solution that mostly works for most parties.
The Strategy
Compromise combines working together with a healthy dose of self-sacrifice from everyone. It can be a more time-consuming process than some of our other conflict tools as it involves taking the necessary time to hear and consider multiple viewpoints.
Sometimes this ‘middle ground’ approach can feel a little dissatisfying as no one exactly wins and no one exactly loses. The solution can feel a bit ‘meh.’ Having said that, compromise has it’s time and it’s place in dealing with conflict.
When to Use It
If compromising can leave us feeling ambivalent about the whole situation, when is it a good time to use it?
-
when agreement is more important than a quick decision – if we need a decision asap we would be better to employ a strategy such as accommodation or avoidance, as taking the time to hear everyone and consider different viewpoints takes a measure of time. But, if we have the time, allowing everyone to speak helps to build bonds within the group and that is often a vital element in the overall success of whatever solution is devised.
-
as a temporary solution – compromise is an excellent choice when we need some action right now, but we have time and space in the future to do a deeper dive into the issue and engage in a lengthier discussion. For example, if we have a customer in front of us with a product issue we have not encountered before. Obviously, our customer is eager for a resolution to their problem immediately and, in the interest of maintaining a good customer relationship, we would seek to take immediate action. However, as this is a new issue, we may have vastly different ideas coming into the melting pot. Compromise in this case would be a good goal – we can hear just a couple of key opinions, take an action to resolve the problem for this one customer right now and block out some time at a later date to hear a wider range of thoughts and devise a permanent, repeatable solution for the future.
Be Careful
The art of the compromise is a useful skill and does produce results. It usually involves cutting and pasting from existing ideas to create a patchwork solution. The key danger with this strategy is that, by not allowing time and space for completely new ideas and insights, we could be overlooking a potentially better solution. Therefore, compromise should be a choice, not a default option.
Our series so far has discussed a range of conflict management tools available to us. We have a few more to discuss but, a key recurring thought is that there is a time and place for each strategy. The greatest conflict management skill we could develop is the ability to make the right choice in each situation.